How Can I Relate Sticking My Car In A Ditch To My Writing Practice?
When you’re a writer, everything that happens to you is a metaphor…
If you have your license, you’ve probably experienced the gut-wrenching feeling of hitting a stationary object or accidentally going off the road at least one time.
There’s the lurch, the bodily terror that concentrates in your stomach, and then the agonizing moment of one single thought coursing through your head — Did that really just happen?
Fortunately, the incident that inspired this article was minor.
My back wheels sunk down into a soft patch on the trailhead of a hiking spot I was scoping out. I called my mom, and she came with a truck and a tow-rope, and promptly pulled me out of the ditch.
Being a writer dealing with mental illness or chronic health issues sometimes feels like going off the road on a weekly basis.
The self-doubt, the self-blame, and the sensation that you just screwed up and have no idea how to fix it, are constant, unfortunate companions.
For me, being able to write a mere 500 words a day requires an insane amount of self-care and discipline. I have to balance all my device time so that I’m not causing a shoulder spasm or migraine; I have to make sure I don’t sit too long and trigger my hip pain; I have to do my stretches, I need to be hydrated; the list goes on.
When I fail, and therefore can’t write, that unfortunate companion creeps in with negative messages:
I’m not good enough.
I’m not strict enough with myself.
All of my writing friends are running circles around me.
I’m so deep in this ditch of feeling like crap, how can I ever get out?
It’s painful — immensely so.
It’s the constant refusal of your body and mind to allow you to make the progress you want on your life’s dream. Sometimes it feels like a literal demon on your back, sapping the joy from your life.
This is the place where the road forks and you have two choices: remain stuck in the ditch, or call for help to get back on the road.
That call for help may not be to your mom, but rather to the forces living inside you. The forces that keep you crawling out of bed and putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as it were). This is the moment where you ask yourself the why, where you give yourself the grace to create at the pace you can physically, mentally, and realistically handle.
Call it mindfulness, sense of purpose, an attitude adjustment, whatever you want. You find a way to go on, and to not give up.
Assemble your toolbox. Call for that rescue rope to get you out of the ditch.
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Fellow writer, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate your time and attention so much.❤
Keep up with me on Substack and Tumblr, or check out my website, arijensine.ink, for information on my personally-tailored developmental editing services for misfit writers.
Take care, be well, and much love!
-Ari
